To have or not to have...a penis that is.
So, as any of you who follow my blog know (and I know there are many of you who take a peek but do not have blogger accounts) my husband and I are having a baby boy this summer.
However, something has been troubling me a bit the last few weeks since we announced the news. I am really surprised by the amount of people (women exclusively) who when I say I'm having a boy say "oh, well you can always try again for a girl." Or some variation of "awwww"- and I don't mean "awww" as in 'that's cute,' I'm talking "awww," as in -'that's too bad.' Can I seriously say a giant W.T.F. to all of those people!?! I actually had a co-worker say...get this..."well, I guess someone has to have 'em." Like it is some spiteful punishment from God because he did not grant me a vagina child. Are you f*cking kidding me people!!!
Some people are a nicer about it...saying "oh, congrats...I've always wanted a girl myself..." or some variation of this. Which is fine, we can all have our preferences and I always thought I wanted a girl too, really I did. And this doesn't bother me to hear honestly because I felt the same way for a long time. I had a friend tell me once, after finding out she was having a boy when she wanted a girl - "it just didn't matter when the doctor said boy, I was just happy." Now I know what she meant.
I think most women (myself included) always think they'd want a baby girl because- well, we're girls ourselves and we think we'd have more in common with a girl. We can go shopping, get our nails done or whatever it is we feel having a girl would be better for. And maybe we'd be right. Or maybe we'd get a girl that has absolutely nothing in common with us what-so-ever. And I would wager the likelihood of this is just as high as the likelihood that she'll be a mini version of her mother. My mother and I have always been very close. So, naturally I've always wanted a similar relationship with my child. But then, two years ago, my aunt gave birth to a little guy named Lorenzo (or Chicken to me) and he really did change my life.
Not only was Chicken the only baby I've seen being born (an amazing experience might I add that I would suggest anyone who gets the opportunity to see do it...you may be thinking "ewww" or "gross" or something else...but just trust me on this one. Do it.) but he has also been the child in my life I've "clicked" with the most. I can not imagine him being anything other than who and what he is...and I wouldn't want him to be.
So, when the doctor announced the appearance of a tiny little penis in our ultrasound, I smiled. One because I thought about Mr. Chicken, two because the little stinker was already playing with his tiny penis and three because the smile spread across my husband's face was priceless. I couldn't want anything else because, after all, this was how my family is supposed to be. And if one day we're blessed with a little girl (if we even decide to have a 2nd child) that will be awesome. But, if we have a house full of boys I will be just as happy because they're ours. Penis or no penis, they're ours.
Lincoln
February 24, 2012
Week 18
A little bit of panic is sinking in as we get closer and closer to the half -way mark. I swear the weeks are clipping on by so fast now that every time I turn around its time for another weekly blog post!!! We finally finished registering for our baby shower(s)- yes, we're having three of them- so that is a mark off the ole check-list. I think we've found a care provider for the days we need it...just waiting on confirmation of her schedule and visit to the home to be sure she is exactly what we're looking for. I have my FMLA leave approved and 10 weeks paid maternity leave (thank you Wayne State) and we have some leads on a pediatrician. And this weekend are officially starting the nursery! So, there is a LOT going on...and not to mention the typical full-time work, busy life stuff we always have lol!
This week has been one of a lot of changes for me. My body is really starting to change by the week- which is both exciting and a little scary at the same time. I'm feeling movement a little more often now on his own...but still not very strong. And I've started to deal with some of the emotional issues that have popped up this week regarding my father. I've been having a lot of dreams about him lately...like dreams that are so real you wake up and have to remember he's gone all over again...not fun. I think it stems from sadness that our baby boy will never know his biological grandfathers. While we have some pretty awesome step-fathers, this fact is still sad. And I'm already noticing my relationships with some people are starting to change...not in a particularly bad way...I can just tell I'm going to be closer to some and more distant from others as I enter mommy-hood.
Pregnancy symptoms: Some very bad dizziness- I actually had to work from home one day because I was scared to drive. Cramping has been a lot less, so that is good. Other than that just normal body growing and expanding stuff...some round ligament pain...but more of a pulling sensation now then the shooting pains I was having.
How far along: 18 weeks 4 days
How big is baby? 8 ounces
Weight gain/loss? +3 lbs
Stretch marks: Not yet...but I'm pretty sure I won't make it out of this without one or two marks...
Maternity clothes: Just started wearing them this week, some stuff is still pretty big but I feel more comfortable in maternity clothes now...all the regular stuff is riding up or down and getting annoying.
Sleep: Good...except for the occasional dizziness waking me up and sad dreams about my father :(
Food cravings/aversions: Just hungry...still craving snickers bars....
Gender: Confirmed again at the ultrasound today- still a BOY!!!!
What are you looking forward to this week: Starting to paint and decorate baby boy's nursery!
A little bit of panic is sinking in as we get closer and closer to the half -way mark. I swear the weeks are clipping on by so fast now that every time I turn around its time for another weekly blog post!!! We finally finished registering for our baby shower(s)- yes, we're having three of them- so that is a mark off the ole check-list. I think we've found a care provider for the days we need it...just waiting on confirmation of her schedule and visit to the home to be sure she is exactly what we're looking for. I have my FMLA leave approved and 10 weeks paid maternity leave (thank you Wayne State) and we have some leads on a pediatrician. And this weekend are officially starting the nursery! So, there is a LOT going on...and not to mention the typical full-time work, busy life stuff we always have lol!This week has been one of a lot of changes for me. My body is really starting to change by the week- which is both exciting and a little scary at the same time. I'm feeling movement a little more often now on his own...but still not very strong. And I've started to deal with some of the emotional issues that have popped up this week regarding my father. I've been having a lot of dreams about him lately...like dreams that are so real you wake up and have to remember he's gone all over again...not fun. I think it stems from sadness that our baby boy will never know his biological grandfathers. While we have some pretty awesome step-fathers, this fact is still sad. And I'm already noticing my relationships with some people are starting to change...not in a particularly bad way...I can just tell I'm going to be closer to some and more distant from others as I enter mommy-hood.
Pregnancy symptoms: Some very bad dizziness- I actually had to work from home one day because I was scared to drive. Cramping has been a lot less, so that is good. Other than that just normal body growing and expanding stuff...some round ligament pain...but more of a pulling sensation now then the shooting pains I was having.
How far along: 18 weeks 4 days
How big is baby? 8 ounces
Weight gain/loss? +3 lbs
Stretch marks: Not yet...but I'm pretty sure I won't make it out of this without one or two marks...
Maternity clothes: Just started wearing them this week, some stuff is still pretty big but I feel more comfortable in maternity clothes now...all the regular stuff is riding up or down and getting annoying.
Sleep: Good...except for the occasional dizziness waking me up and sad dreams about my father :(
Food cravings/aversions: Just hungry...still craving snickers bars....
Gender: Confirmed again at the ultrasound today- still a BOY!!!!
What are you looking forward to this week: Starting to paint and decorate baby boy's nursery!
February 19, 2012
Week 17
This weeks biggest milestone has been the appearance of my baby bump!!! Sure, its still pretty little but it is definitely there and my clothes are defiantly fitting less and less each day. I'm wearing maternity shirts on occasion- not into maternity pants yet but by week 20 I think I'll be there...if not sooner. I did retire my jeans about 5 days ago however.."good-bye jeans, see you in the fall....hopefully!"
It is nice to see the bump finally make it's appearance- it is proof there really is someone in there! And an unintended and beautiful consequence of my growing belly is acceptance of some of my other curves as well. I've always been a curvy girl and struggled with my weight. But as my pregnancy progresses I'm finding an appreciation for my body that I never really had before. It is doing something amazing. It is resilient and I'm finding it more beautiful then ever before! Sure its not perfect and there are a lot of things I would like to change if given the option...but being pregnant is such a confirmation of women-ness and I'm now viewing the other curves of my body in much the same way. These curves are womanly and they are beautiful! Sure they could be smaller, but they could be a lot bigger too and I think the baby bump suits me quite well : )
Pregnancy symptoms: Some dizziness and mild cramps. Along with the growing belly comes some pretty painful lower-back aches. Ugh! Learning to squat to pick things up instead of bending over.
How far along: 17 weeks 6 days
How big is baby? 5 inches and 5 ounces
Weight gain/loss? +2 lbs
Stretch marks: Not yet...but I'm pretty sure I won't make it out of this without one or two marks...
Maternity clothes: Soon...very, very soon.
Sleep: Good.
Food cravings/aversions: Just hungry. Craved Snickers this week and probably had more than I should...oh well lol!
Gender: BOY!!!!
What are you looking forward to this week: Friday is my anatomy screen, probably the most in-depth and lengthy of the ultrasounds and I'm excited to see my baby boy again :)
This weeks biggest milestone has been the appearance of my baby bump!!! Sure, its still pretty little but it is definitely there and my clothes are defiantly fitting less and less each day. I'm wearing maternity shirts on occasion- not into maternity pants yet but by week 20 I think I'll be there...if not sooner. I did retire my jeans about 5 days ago however.."good-bye jeans, see you in the fall....hopefully!"
It is nice to see the bump finally make it's appearance- it is proof there really is someone in there! And an unintended and beautiful consequence of my growing belly is acceptance of some of my other curves as well. I've always been a curvy girl and struggled with my weight. But as my pregnancy progresses I'm finding an appreciation for my body that I never really had before. It is doing something amazing. It is resilient and I'm finding it more beautiful then ever before! Sure its not perfect and there are a lot of things I would like to change if given the option...but being pregnant is such a confirmation of women-ness and I'm now viewing the other curves of my body in much the same way. These curves are womanly and they are beautiful! Sure they could be smaller, but they could be a lot bigger too and I think the baby bump suits me quite well : )
Pregnancy symptoms: Some dizziness and mild cramps. Along with the growing belly comes some pretty painful lower-back aches. Ugh! Learning to squat to pick things up instead of bending over.
How far along: 17 weeks 6 days
How big is baby? 5 inches and 5 ounces
Weight gain/loss? +2 lbs
Stretch marks: Not yet...but I'm pretty sure I won't make it out of this without one or two marks...
Maternity clothes: Soon...very, very soon.
Sleep: Good.
Food cravings/aversions: Just hungry. Craved Snickers this week and probably had more than I should...oh well lol!
Gender: BOY!!!!
What are you looking forward to this week: Friday is my anatomy screen, probably the most in-depth and lengthy of the ultrasounds and I'm excited to see my baby boy again :)
February 12, 2012
Week 16
We found out this week that we are expecting a baby BOY!!! A boy, B.O.Y.!!! The hubby was so certain all along that we were having a boy. Myself? I was completely clueless as to what we were having. But honestly I am over-joyed!!! As a women I've always thought having a little girl would be the best. I'm a girl so I think there is a natural tendency to prefer what the gender/sex that you are...like my husband wanting a boy just a wee bit more than a girl. But, after having it confirmed that I am expected a son- all thoughts about having a girl really dissolved away into the elation of thinking about my soon-to-be son. It's really hard to explain.And if by the 1% chance baby boy is born and is a baby girl- I will be elated all over again. It's a child. YOUR child- created in love and wanted for years...how can you really care what you're having? It is not like you have a choice in the matter and honestly there are so many positives and negatives to each sex that the personality and temperament of the child is truly what matters. Everyone keeps telling me that boys are so much fun, easy-going and so much easier to raise then girls. But, I'm sure if I was having a girl I would hear how adorable and quick to learn girls are...like I said, good and bad on both sides. Nothing says the boy won't be a Drama King or that a girl will love to wear dresses and potty train early....every child is different.
But a sleepover with my adorable Mr. Chicken last night had me picturing my life as a mother to a little boy and I honestly CAN NOT WAIT!!!
Pregnancy symptoms: Still some dizziness and mild cramps. My belly had definitely started to grow and I can tell maternity clothes are in my near future.
How far along: 16 weeks 6 days
How big is baby? 4.5 inches and 3.5 ounces- the size of an avocado...and as a cute note, the other day I referred to the baby as being the size of a small melon and my husband goes "no, he's the size of an avocado..." someone has been reading the baby books : )
Weight gain/loss? +2 lbs
Stretch marks: No..but fear of them has grown as I watch my belly expand by the day!
Maternity clothes: Not yet, but soon...probably by week 18 or 19.
Sleep: Good. Twice a night trips to the bathroom but I fall right on back to sleep...I know, I know...enjoy it while I can!
Food cravings/aversions: I'm just hungry a lot but it doesn't take too much to settle the hunger down. I'm hungry more often but don't need to eat a lot in one sitting...room in my abdomen is at a premium!
Gender: BOY!!!!
What are you looking forward to this week: I'm just elated at the news of our baby boy and to some degree am enjoying my expanding belly...it's proof there is a baby in there! ALSO, I've started to feel some light flutters!!! (The single most amazing feeling in the world might I add) so I am really looking forward to feeling more movement from our little guy!
How big is baby? 4.5 inches and 3.5 ounces- the size of an avocado...and as a cute note, the other day I referred to the baby as being the size of a small melon and my husband goes "no, he's the size of an avocado..." someone has been reading the baby books : )
Weight gain/loss? +2 lbs
Stretch marks: No..but fear of them has grown as I watch my belly expand by the day!
Maternity clothes: Not yet, but soon...probably by week 18 or 19.
Sleep: Good. Twice a night trips to the bathroom but I fall right on back to sleep...I know, I know...enjoy it while I can!
Food cravings/aversions: I'm just hungry a lot but it doesn't take too much to settle the hunger down. I'm hungry more often but don't need to eat a lot in one sitting...room in my abdomen is at a premium!
Gender: BOY!!!!
What are you looking forward to this week: I'm just elated at the news of our baby boy and to some degree am enjoying my expanding belly...it's proof there is a baby in there! ALSO, I've started to feel some light flutters!!! (The single most amazing feeling in the world might I add) so I am really looking forward to feeling more movement from our little guy!
February 4, 2012
Week 15
15 weeks, say what?!?! I can not believe I am almost 16 weeks pregnant. That is just so crazy to me. It seems like just yesterday we were looking at the positive pregnancy test and waiting out the dreadful and anxiety-producing first trimester. Now, we're very very close to finding out the baby's sex...and from there I'm sure it will be a whirlwind. Nursery painting, decorating, photo shoots, registering, showers, looking into daycare, interviewing pediatricians -whew!!! And that's before the little one even arrives!!!
I'm ecstatic though, really. And much, much calmer than I was only 2 weeks ago. This week has been ok for the most part- a couple scare-worthy items. I've been light-headed and a little dizzy since about 14 weeks- almost like vertigo. The doctor said it is very normal in mid-pregnancy but it makes driving a bit scary. Also, I've been having a lot of cramping this week. The cramps are not too painful, just very uncomfortable, and they don't last long- but they happen several times a day almost every day. Most things I've read say this is likely due to a "growth spurt" and my belly has definitely grown this week! So, I'm taking it easy and "strategically hydrating," as the doctor calls it, until things calm down. Aside from that I feel pretty good.
15 weeks, say what?!?! I can not believe I am almost 16 weeks pregnant. That is just so crazy to me. It seems like just yesterday we were looking at the positive pregnancy test and waiting out the dreadful and anxiety-producing first trimester. Now, we're very very close to finding out the baby's sex...and from there I'm sure it will be a whirlwind. Nursery painting, decorating, photo shoots, registering, showers, looking into daycare, interviewing pediatricians -whew!!! And that's before the little one even arrives!!!
I'm ecstatic though, really. And much, much calmer than I was only 2 weeks ago. This week has been ok for the most part- a couple scare-worthy items. I've been light-headed and a little dizzy since about 14 weeks- almost like vertigo. The doctor said it is very normal in mid-pregnancy but it makes driving a bit scary. Also, I've been having a lot of cramping this week. The cramps are not too painful, just very uncomfortable, and they don't last long- but they happen several times a day almost every day. Most things I've read say this is likely due to a "growth spurt" and my belly has definitely grown this week! So, I'm taking it easy and "strategically hydrating," as the doctor calls it, until things calm down. Aside from that I feel pretty good.
Pregnancy symptoms: Just the dizziness and cramps, breast still sore but not crazy and my appetite has gotten more manageable.
How far along: 15 weeks 5 days
How big is baby? 4 inches and a few ounces
Weight gain/loss? +1.5lbs. Just started to gain weight this week...
Stretch marks: No
Maternity clothes: No.
Sleep: Good with the occasional crazy-ass dream
Food cravings/aversions: I'm craving gummy worms, starbursts, swedish fish- candy I don't normally like
Gender: Finding out very, very soon!!!
What are you looking forward to this week: I don't want to jinks it!!!!
How big is baby? 4 inches and a few ounces
Weight gain/loss? +1.5lbs. Just started to gain weight this week...
Stretch marks: No
Maternity clothes: No.
Sleep: Good with the occasional crazy-ass dream
Food cravings/aversions: I'm craving gummy worms, starbursts, swedish fish- candy I don't normally like
Gender: Finding out very, very soon!!!
What are you looking forward to this week: I don't want to jinks it!!!!
February 1 2012
Whoa!
I just realized today that I am 1/3 done with this pregnancy. 1 down, 2 to do.
Duh, I know that's what the 2nd trimester means...but 15 weeks seems more significant than 14.
15 into 40 = > 3 times
Time is flying by! craziness...
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