Favorite Baby Items

When we were registering for baby items for Lincoln we consulted several parents we knew, we used a "registry checklist" and we also browsed Babies R Us several times. But, you never really know what you need until the baby arrives. Of course, if we could go back in time now there are a few choices we'd make differently.

First, we'd register for Dr. Brown's bottles. These bottles have a special straw inserted in the middle that (really does) pull all the air out of the bottle. And if you happen to have a gassy baby (which 50% of babies are) your pediatrician will tell you to buy these bottles. So, I figure if we had started with these bottles even if Linc wasn't gassy they won't hurt.


The bottles we did register for that we absolutely hate are the Playtex Nursers with the drop-in liners. These bottle may be great for breast-milk but with formula we found them to be crappy. When pushing the air out of the drop-in the foam from the formula that was mixed will build up at the top of the drop-in. This essentially traps air at the top of the drop-in...the last thing we wanted.

We ended up storing all of our bottles and returning all of the drop-ins. Plus, we preferred bottles we could just wash and re-use. The drop-ins are meant to be disposable and although you can wash and re-use them its a pain in the ass. So, all and all we didn't find them to be cost effective either.


Next, I love, love, love this Fisher Price Rock N Play sleeper. It can serve as a bassinet. It is easy to move, fold and travel with (even moving it room to room around the house) and it is elevated. The elevation is particularly nice with Linc's reflux issues. He sleeps in this and probably won't sleep in his crib at all until the reflux is better. Even with the mattress propped he just sleeps better in this.

Next, we absolutely love this wipe warmer. It is not vital to have warm wipes but they do remove certain "things" easier from the babies bottom and I also use it to warm wash clothes before I give Linc his daily wipe-down. He seems calmer when the clothes are warm and its also an easy way to store wipes on the changing table. I found those cheap, flimsy wipe cases to be good for a diaper bag but I wouldn't want to mess with them on the changing table.

Finally, Gumdrop pacifiers have become a favorite of ours. I wish someone has told me to just register for these from the get-go. These pacifiers are all once piece, easy to clean and, like the Dr. Brown's bottles, came recommended by our pediatrician. The other pacifiers are not only harder to keep clean- Linc won't even use them.

I'm sure there will be many more favorites and items we barely use as Linc gets older.

Lincoln Six Weeks

I was planning on posting monthly updates from here- or to write about special events, but this boy has just changed so much from week 5 to 6 that I had to post! First he is getting so much bigger. He now weighs 8lbs 8oz! This may not seem like a lot but he's come a long way from the 4lb 9oz little doll he was at birth. He is so alert these days and is noticing the world around him more and more. He is lifting his head off of our shoulders and is turning his head in response to voices and sounds. He can track objects with his eyes and is starting to smile and coo more and more. He is simply a joy and is a pretty good baby. Sure, he has his cranky moments and is still suffering from tummy trouble but all and all we've found him to be pretty laid-back and pleasant.

I love moments like these when he looks directly at me :)

I was lucky enough to coax this little grin out of him yesterday during his morning "play time."

Sure, I'm bias- but I find him absolutely beautiful and find myself just staring at him constantly.

While he is a pretty easy-going baby, he is not huge on sleep (much to my dismay).  He naps for 30mins to 1 hour stretches about twice a day and he sleeps for about 3.5-4 hours at night in a stretch and then we're lucky to get another 2-3 hour stretch. He's still very young though- so we're hoping this just gets better with time. I think this is pretty typical for a 6 week old...but I'm a wuss when it comes to sleep.

He has so many facial expressions and he is constantly cracking us up with them. Like this one for example. Now what kind of face is that? Its like you can see him thinking "Mom. Dad. This is getting old." Too funny!

Lincoln One Month

Oh how life can change in just one month. I can't believe its been a month already and our boy has changed so much! It really is incredible how fast time flies and how quickly babies grow. Everyone tells you this but to witness it right before your eyes is like nothing I've ever seen.

This past month has been both the best and hardest month of our lives. It has been the best because our family now feels complete and we are experiencing a love like no other. Its as if all of the love we have has manifested into this perfect, beautiful, innocent little being and we would do absolutely anything to protect him, make him smile and take care of him.

However, along with the love comes a lot of sacrifice. Babies are a lot of work. I know, that sounds stupid, but again its one of those things I needed to experience to fully understand. They are a 24/7 job. They are unpredictable and needy and exhausting. We're lucky to get three showers a week and 5 hours of sleep. Doing my hair and putting make-up on is unheard of these days and I normally have something on my shirt. Phone calls are short and schedules are unheard of...at least for now. I know as he grows things will settle but for now it is all about what he wants, when he wants it. But, the most amazing thing about this is that we don't mind at all. Sure, we're tired and sore and feel like our world has been turned upside down...but we look at his face and it is all worth it.

We also look at each other now in a whole new light. We are parents. We created life. We are forever bound by this beautiful baby. We love each other now more then ever.

Lincoln's One Month Stats:

Weight: 7lbs 3oz 
Length: 20 inches

He is lifting his head for 5 seconds at a time, both up and at a 45 degree angel. Lincoln grasps with his hands and his toes and can rock his body over to one side. He recognizes at least three voices (the hubs, me and my mother) and he can recognize our faces. He sometimes smiles back at us if we smile at him and he loves the sound of laughing. He can push off our arms with his feet and lift his whole body...he is incredibly strong for his size. He is bright-eyed and alert and curious. He is incredible.

  

We've found Lincoln to be a pretty easy-going baby most of the time. He only cries or fusses when he's hungry, wet, uncomfortable or lonely and we can usually tell from his crying exactly which of those he's complaining about. However, starting in week three and continuing into this week he's developed some tummy issues and acid reflux. At first we switched to a lactose-free formula and I've been eating lactose-free so it is not in my breast-milk. That seemed to work for about a week and then his tummy trouble re-surfaced. That's when we realized that he also had acid reflux. After looking into it about 50% of babies have acid reflux and these babies in the past would be diagnosed as "colicky.' Apparently colic was the "go to" diagnosis for stomach issues in babies before they knew how to better diagnose what was wrong. So, we are now using the lactose-free formula and thickening it with organic rice cereal to help him keep it down. We've also elevated the head of his crib and basically have him laying or sitting on an incline at all times so the acid doesn't come up and burn his throat. Last night was our first night trying this and it was miserable- but upon waking up today he seems like a new baby, so we're hopeful this will work. The next option to try is a formula that is incredibly expensive (I'm talking $60 per week) and after that would be meds. We've heard some family and friends swear by Chiropractic work for acid reflux- but with him still so little (just now the size of an average newborn) we're not comfortable with that. Maybe we will try it if he's still having trouble in a few months but for now we're going to try all the dietary changes we can first.

The baby belly is gone.

As for me, I'm doing pretty well. I was definitely not prepared for a c-section or the healing that would need to come afterwards. The first 2-3 weeks was really hard. I could move around the house ok but getting out of bed by myself was practically impossible for the first 10 days and doing anything that involves my stomach muscles is still pretty difficult. My stamina is just wore down so I get tired easily but all and all I'm healing very well and my scar is hardly noticeable already. I've also lost 20 lbs since having Lincoln and reached my pre-pregnancy weight by the end of week three. I'm hoping the combination of pumping and having less time to eat will result in losing even more. I'd be much happier if I lost another 30lbs...but I'm not going to stress about it now. Once I'm all healed and life is less hectic then I'll worry about my weight. Until then my goal is to maintain my weight and enjoy my baby.

As for the marks of childbearing I do have a few- but they are very small and don't really bother me. I don't know how I could look at them with disgust when I know what they stand for. There is a deep appreciation and acceptance for the female body I have now. It is a pure miracle what we can do and how can you feel anything by gratitude and amazement for a body that stretches and shapes to bring life into the world? This may sound like the biggest mushy sentiment- but really I look at Linc and can not believe he was inside of me and that my body grew him and made him. I don't think I'll ever be able to fully wrap my mind around it. 

And as for the question we're already being asked...will we have another baby? Well, it is far too early to tell. Do we want another baby- yes. Will we have another baby- we just don't know. There are too many unknowns to answer that honestly. Do we want to risk my health and the health of another baby? Do we want to perhaps suffer more miscarriages and the misery they bring? Can we afford another baby? Will Linc end up being more of a handful and will we feel we can handle another child? All of those questions are yet to be answered. So, in about 2-3 years we'll make that decision but for now we're going to sit back and enjoy being a family of three.

Lincoln's Second and Third Week

Lincoln's second and third week home were pretty eventful. We took our first walk as a family. I wasn't able to get very far, as I was still healing from the c-section, but we made it a few houses down and got to get out of the house for a few minutes- it was nice.

Lincoln's personality is starting to set in more and more. He is a pretty funny baby- like this face he started making while he was drinking -- cross-eyed so he never misses a drop out of that bottle!

We had more visits from very special people, like Great Grandma Betty.

And I finally got a picture I've been waiting for- Chicken (Lorenzo) and Monkey (Lincoln) meeting for the first time : )

There were a lot snuggles, of course- and a bout with lactose-intolerance. So we changed up the formula and it seems to be working well. But, I do have to say- week three was a little rough. We got very little sleep and Lincoln was in a lot of pain with gas. It was heart-breaking to see him in so much pain and not be able to help him. We're very glad the diet change seems to be working.

We took our first trip to the park. It was nice but short. The black flies were out in full force, so after about an hour we packed up and headed home.

Fred and I find ourselves staring at him in amazement. We can't believe we created such a perfect little person together- its mind-blowing.

At the beginning of week two Lincoln also had his first bath. He didn't mind it much and sat there looking around mostly. He seemed like he liked the warm water.

Lincoln also had his first and second doctor visit with Dr. Berry, our pediatrician. The doc said Lincoln is doing wonderfully. A tiny bit of diaper rash and a clogged tear-duct were the only issues. At the first appointment Linc weighed 4lbs 13oz (up 5 oz since leaving the hospital) and by the second appointment one week later he was up a full pound to 5lbs 13 oz!!!

As we head into week four I am very lucky to have my mother (Nonna) helping me out as Fred will be going back to work. I am still healing and very much appreciate her help. Plus I'm also excited for Linc to get to spend some quality time with her as I know she'll be a central, and important, person in his life.

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  ~Elizabeth Stone

Lincoln's First Week

Lincoln spent the first four days of his life in the hospital. Then once we were home we had a lot of visitors coming over to hold and cuddle our little man. It was wonderful. We had time to rest and clean the house and get re-acclimated to being home. At first Linc was sleeping 3-4.5 hour stretches at a time and he was very calm and only fussed (well screamed) when it was diaper changing time. 

 Here he is cuddling with his Great Aunt Alicia.

 He gave us the first look at an adorable little grin :)

He delighted in spending time with both of his Grandmothers. I think they are both beyond hooked...and really, who can blame them?|

He endured his first sponge bath...and was calm through the entire thing until we got to his bottom (which was a little diaper rashed)

And he slept very peacefully. Fred and I spent most of these first days home staring at him, hugging each other and wondering how we created such a beautiful, perfect little being. Fred stared at him in wonder and I cried almost every time I looked at him- not in sadness but with overwhelming love. He is my heart.

Lincoln's Birth Story

Friday, July 13th 2012

July 13th started with a visit to Dr. Mason's office for my last check-up. We were scheduled to be admitted on July 15th for an induction to start on July 16th. After my appointment, and finding out my fluid levels were a bit low, Dr. Mason asked if I was ready to get the show on the road that day- we said- absolutely! So, we headed on up to the birthing center and were admitted into birthing suite 11.

We were admitted around 11:30am on Friday- the agenda was for me to get put on Heparin and "flush" out the lovenox medication I had been on. The purpose of this was to get a tighter control on my blood thinners in case of an emergency. So, before actually starting the induction my doctor wanted to be sure I was safely on a medication that would be inactive after 30 minutes as opposed to 12 hours like my previous medication. We'd soon learn how vital this would be.

Having my "last supper" around 6pm Friday night- Jimmy Johns and McDonald's french fries with a chocolate shake- hey I was almost done being pregnant- I figured, what the hell! :)

I was told to get some rest in preparation for the induction the next day.

The beautiful sunset view from our room as we went to bed in anticipation of meeting our son in the next day...or two...


Saturday, July 14, 2012

My induction officially started at 8:00am on Saturday July 14th. The doctor started the induction with a round of cervical preparation. He said most people need about two applications...I ended up having four.

Around 3pm on Saturday I was taken off the Heparin as I was dilated to 2 cm. The expectation was that I would have the baby at some point that night.

My mother, aunt and mother-in-law kept us company as we waited for things to progress. The mood was upbeat for the most part...although we were all getting tired and impatient since I'd been in the labor process for about 7 hours and things were moving very slowly.

The fluid retention I experienced in the hospital was incredible. I gained about 9lbs of water in 2 days...talk about uncomfortable!

Around 8:45pm the doctor started me on Pitocin and stripped my membranes. Even though I was still only dilated to 2.5 cms the doctor hoped this would help things along. After the Pitocin was started I began to get pretty uncomfortable as my contractions started to get harder and harder. I was also on my fourth dose of cervical prep.

By about 11:00pm I was not progressing any further so my doctor decided to stop the Pitocin and let me get some sleep. I was given pain medication through my IV so I could rest.


Sunday, July 15th 2012

I was able to get about 3 or 4 hours of sleep when at 3am the nurse came in to tell me that the anesthesiologist would not allow me to get an epidural for my delivery, even though I was promised and, in fact, encouraged to get an epidural. He said I couldn't get the epidural if I had been on heparin (blood thinners) in the last few hours because I could bleed into my spine. After hearing this there was no more sleeping. I was incredibly upset. I came to the hospital with a plan and now some doctor I didn't know was telling me the plan my doctor and I decided upon was void and I was incredibly afraid of bleeding into my spine and becoming paralyzed. All I wanted was to talk to my own doctor and hear this news from him.


Around 8am my doctor called and assured me that I would in fact get an epidural and the anesthesiologist just didn't understand the plan. They would test my blood levels to be sure they were normal before giving me an epidural so I was at no greater risk then anyone else getting an epidural. Not all doctors seem to understand that when I am on blood thinners it is like a normal person and me not on blood thinners is a hyper- clotting situation. The heparin was keeping me "normal." After hearing this news from my doctor's mouth,  I was reassured.


I was started back on the Pitocin and my contractions continued to get stronger and stronger. At this point I was in the active phase of labor and was not feeling the best. I was in pain, I hadn't eaten in two days and I was very irritable. I got pretty upset with my husband when I saw him sneaking food behind the curtain and yelled at my mother that I couldn't squeeze her hand because I was afraid of hurting her. In hindsight I realize that all things considered I could have been much nastier then I was but I was getting pretty snippy at this point.


Around noon they started to notice some decelerations in the baby's heart rate. My doctor thought this was due to the positioning of the monitor or that the baby was compressing the cord. He ordered the resident on call to place a monitor in the baby's head (yes while the baby was still inside me) and to place an internal monitor in me. The resident was also instructed to break my water and give me an amnio infusion. At this point I was on no pain medication and these four "procedures"  were probably the most painful parts of this process. After the resident was done I was somewhat more comfortable but the contractions were still coming on strong. My contractions were now 4 minutes apart.


By 1pm I was given some pain medication again through my IV and by 2pm I was dilated to 4 cm and the nurse called for me to get my epidural. The anesthesiologist (a different one) arrived to my room around 3pm for my epidural and was immediately called away for an emergency c-section. I thought I was going to scream! My contractions at this point were pretty unbearable and I was having a lot of back labor as the baby was turned in the face up position, meaning his spine was pressing against mine. Every contraction seared through my lower back and hips and I felt like they were breaking.


By 4pm the epidural was placed and this was a rather pain-free procedure. The hardest part was breathing through the contractions while it was being placed. Once the epidural was in the contractions were much more manageable and other then the odd sensation of being numb and not being able to lift my legs I was much more comfortable. At 4:30pm compression cufffs were placed on my legs and my doctor inserted a foley catheter. I told him I was going to use a bed pan instead and he told me "um, no you're not!" lol! He is one of the only men who has been able to tell me "no" and I actually listen. At this point I was dilated to 5cm.


Between 4:30 and 5:15pm the nurses noticed more decelerations in the baby's heart rate. Every time I had a contraction the baby's heart rate would drop- making the nurses, and us, very concerned. After about 3 episodes of this the resident called my doctor and I heard her confirm "Prep her for a c-section."


What? I was in shock. I never once, through all of this, thought I would ever need a c-section. However, even though I was shocked, I was also somewhat calm. A c-section was a worst case scenario with my clotting disorder but it also meant, no more contractions, no more labor, no pushing...and it meant after about 34 hours of labor I would finally meet my son.


They started unplugging machines and washing my stomach and before I new it I was in the operating room.


The room was incredibly bright and cold. I had uncontrollable shakes and was put on a heating blanket and oxygen. There was some confusion over whether my c-section was "stat," so I endured a 10 minute fighting match across the top of me between my nurse and the OR nurse. After the doctor arrived and talked some sense into these women, the room became calm. Time seemed to pass so slowly as I waited for my doctor to scrub-in and to see my husband again. After about 20 minutes in OR the hubs walked in wearing the white suite and mask. He looked terrified. He sat beside me, held my hand and I told him it was going to be ok.


After the surgery got underway and what seemed like another agonizing 20 minutes we finally heard my doctor say, "there he is...oh yeah, I see what the problem was!" Apparently the cord was wrapped around our baby's neck and shoulders, torso and up under his legs- like a harness. The cord was missing an essential insulator making it thinner and more plyable. Every time I would have a contraction to move the baby down the cord would tighten and send our baby into distress. Thank god my doctor ordered the c-section --or I wouldn't have progressed and we likely would have lost him.


In a few more minutes I felt some serious tugging and then...the most beautiful cry I've ever heard. Lincoln was born Sunday night at 6:12pm. You could tell that cry came from strong lungs and Fred and I began to cry. They held the baby around the sheet so we could see him. He was all scrunched up, white and angry with a fist in the air. But he looked normal and healthy and like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The nurses took him away and I heard them state his apgar score, a 8, which is good and his weight...4lbs 9oz. My heart sank a little. I was hoping, no practically praying, he would at least be 5 lbs. Low birth weight babes often have health problems and I just didn't want that for him. But, what could I do? He was here and he was healthy...he was just really tiny.


Finally, the nurse brought him around the curtain and placed him in Fred's arms. I was balling, Fred had tears in his eyes and our little Lincoln was just looking all around at this new, bright, big world. I touched his arm and said "hello little guy," and the most amazing thing happened. Lincoln looked right over towards my voice and I knew instantly that he knew the voice of his mother. That did me in. Bigger sobs and crying out of pure overwhelming love. That moment was like nothing I've ever experienced. Instantly we were bonded for life...just by the sound of my voice.

And here he is - the little man we've been waiting for. Of course we think he is just adorable and he is so super tiny- but strong!

One of the hardest parts about he c-section was not being able to hold my baby for a full 8 hours after he was born. Everyone got to peek in at him through the special care nursery windows and I was stuck in recovery and in my room until I could be back on my blood thinners. Above is the photo of me holding him for the first time around 2 in the morning on Monday.

Fred was a natural with him right away. Which honestly surprised me in some ways and not in others. He's been the most attentive caregiver to me when I've been sick- so in that regard I wasn't surprised. But he happily changes diapers and coos and coddles our little man like he's been waiting for this his entire life. There is no doubt this tiny little person has already changed both of us. We would do absolutely anything for him and the love, protectiveness and bond you feel is like nothing anyone can prepare you for- you have to experience it.

After four days in the hospital and running back and forth from our room to the special care nursery to feed and bond with our little man we were able to come home. I had my heart set on some things that needed to be sacrificed because of the ordeal. Instead of breastfeeding I am pumping and giving him a couple bottles a day and instead of using all of the organic diapers we planned for, we have to use whatever preemie diapers we can find. But, all of those detours aside we are so incredibly happy.

Little Lincoln- in a few short days you've taught us the very definition of patience, unconditional love, letting go and peace. You make us feel complete in a way we never could have imagined. You are our dream come true and every second of every day we will do our very best to give you all of the love, protection and guidance you need and deserve. Thank you for coming into our lives and allowing us to be your parents.