April 22, 2011

For Christ Sakes!!! I swear I thought I was broken...and I also swear my body is literally trying to drive me to the nut house!

So, for the three months my ovulation has been predictable- day 17 of my cycle, next month- day 17, next month...day 17! Ok, now I got it down! My temperature long ago quit being an accurate indicator- it is slowly coming back to normal but it is just not what it was before the miscarriage...

So this month- the 17th day of my cycle rolls around- negative ovulation kit, 18th- negative again (huh?), 19th-negative (what the heck?), 20th-negative (are you f*cking kidding me!?!?)

At this point I'm in a panic- ok I was panicking by day 18th but whose counting? I'm thinking, not only do I have to do these shots twice a day and not only has this miscarriage obliterated any predictability in my cycle...but don't tell me I am now NOT OVULATING!!! That optimism went right out the window with that though!

Then, like the relief of A/C on a 90 degree July day- the ovulation kit came back positive on day 22.

WHAT A RELIEF!!!

All this tells me is that my body is not as predictable as I thought and I need to watch the "signs" a bit more closely than I have been...I need to expect the unexpected...when all we're really trying to do is get to the "expecting" part!